The Zing
by DelicateFuckingFlower
Summary: Clary is missing something, but she doesn't know what it is and doesn't know how to find it. Instead she finds herself slipping. Her brother Jon is there to try and help her survive, because he knows exactly what she needs. She needs the Zing! One-shot
**The Zing**

 **Hey Humans! So I was feeling particularly inspired to create this one shot. It may seem a little sad, but I am actually really happy with it and hope you are too!**

I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling, here I was lying in my bedroom with everything I needed to live a happy life. There was nothing terrible about it. I had a mother and a father and a brother. I had food on the table every night and a warm bed to crawl into afterwards. I had a car to drive me to and from class and my wallet was never empty. There was no yelling or hitting in my house. Instead there were meals that lasted hours because we couldn't eat with the tears rolling down our cheeks and the laughter making it hard to breathe. But looking around my room and taking everything in I realised I was….lonely.

My room was extremely plain for that of a seventeen year old girl. It only had two pieces of furniture in it, a bed and a bedside table. That was all I needed, the rest of my junk was crammed into the adjoining study you could enter through my bathroom. My walls weren't covered in pictures or paintings or anything, instead they were covered in dreamcatchers. Ones of all shapes and sizes hung from the hooks on my walls and the canopy of my bed. They were the most colourful thing in here, besides the books that started to pile up alone the edges of my room and my bedside table. They began their building of the mini city once I realised I couldn't fit any more on the bookshelves that framed my study.

I was at the moment currently single, sure I had had flings in the past but nothing that set off the butterflies that the storybooks and movies had promised me would come with teenage romance. Instead I got the jerks and the assholes who only cared about one thing, and that was a place to put their dicks. It sucked, I was stuck in a vicious cycle, I would date the guys that would cause me to retreat into the fantasy lands that books brought, which would cause me to believe even more in the sparks that love could bring, which would emphasis my lack of spark, so in a search for it I would find another asshole to try in fill the void, again and again and again.

I had my amazing friends at school that would never let me be alone, that couldn't bear to see me upset, so slowly I had learnt to hide the tears lurking in the back of my eyes as I saw them all bask in the ambience of their sparks. This year I had decided to give up on my search of that spark, allowing myself to live my fantasy romances through my books, hence why I had acquired so many. Urgh School, the place I would have to subject myself to once again tomorrow.

School was way too easy for me, I was in all the advanced classes and still they didn't challenge me, but since I was a senior and this was my last year of schooling I had no further to climb until I could start university. But that was still 6 months away. It was 2 months ago that the universities finally realised my 'potential' as they called it and offered me scholarships and early entry programs, but we decided it was best for me to finish my senior year then accept one instead of trying to start half way through the course, not that I couldn't do it, more that my parents couldn't handle me doing it.

I was pulled out of the world of Rosemary and Dimitri but a soft knocking at my door, one that didn't end after two knocks but would go on until I allowed him entry into my room. "Yeeessssssss? Who is it?"

"Channing Tatum." I couldn't help but grin at my brothers antics, even when he was 21 and I was 17, we refused to give up our childhood traditions.

"Well by all means Mr Tatum please come in!"

The door opened to reveal not Channing Tatum, like I was promised but my goofy brother Jonathon. He closed the door behind him before launching himself onto my bed so he was lying across my back creating an x so our heads were close together as I marked my spot in my book before I could figure out what he wanted.

"And what can I do for you this fine even Jonathon?" I laughed out the rest of the breath that resided in my lungs due to Jon pushing his weight onto me as punishment for uttering his full name. I knew if I wanted to breathe again I was going to have to apologise, but recently I had learnt a new trick I bent my knees allowing my feet to fly over us and my heels to dig into the soft flesh that connected his ass to his legs. That caused him to jerk in surprise giving the opportunity to not only breathe but roll over allowing my body to be uncovered from the belly button up. Meaning I was back to having unlimited air. Win!

"Oof! Bloody hell Clary! I _was_ going to come and ask if you wanted to split the last of the ice-cream with me, but after that stunt I might just have to eat your share out of principle alone!" he was trying so hard to hold back his laughter as his diplomatic reasoning for allowing himself to devour my part of the ice-cream, it was adorable. People could say what they wanted about their siblings but none ever came close to the relationship I shared with mine, regardless of the age gap. When I had first started highschool I was nervous as hell, but on my first day I was assigned to the tour group led by Jon's best friend Mark, and he used every opportunity to point out who I was to the fellow students. Most laughed at his antics, thinking he was doing his best to embarrass me. But I knew better. I knew Jon better. They were staking a claim, practically daring anyone to be mean to me, because they would have to deal with those two later. The students had been warned.

"I understand Jon, I'm so sorry for my earlier behaviour, and for that I rightfully redeem my claim on half of the left over ice-cream and with a heavy heart I give you permission to eat it. As long as you eat it correctly – by smothering it in Milo of course. Otherwise no deal." I knew our silly formalities wouldn't last long but it was fun to play and milk for all it was worth while they did. I couldn't hold back my laughter at Jon's 100% shocked expression. It seemed I had surprised him for the second time in as many minutes. Normally I would have wrestled him off and scrambled to get to the ice-cream first.

"Woah, alright, spill it, what's going on. Don't give me that look, I have known you over 17 years and not once have you ever relinquished your half of the ice-cream, what's going on?" the seriousness of his tone suggested both that we were definitely done with our games and he was not going to let this or me go since I was still pinned beneath him. When I didn't answer he lightened the mood a tiny bit. "Is it Rosemary? Has Dimitri not forgiven himself yet?" that was exactly why I loved my brother. He could be the biggest goofball, but he always listened, never forgot a word that I ever said, and never broke a promise. at least once a week he would call in to see how I was and what had been going on in the lives of my fictional families, he know the plots and outcomes to over half my stories without ever picking up a book, that was how I helped him pass English when he was still at school.

I still hadn't answered. It wasn't that I was avoiding the question, it was more that I didn't know the answer to the question. Like I said, there was nothing actually wrong, and that was the problem because I had no actual reason to feel this way, but I still did. I hadn't been wanting my food for months though, slowly I would eat less and less at the table and pack less for recess and lunch, I wasn't starving myself, if I was hungry I would eat, I was just never hungry anymore, nothing was appealing to me and I was scared I was becoming numb again. And based on the look in Jon's emerald eyes he was thinking the same thing.

"Clare? C'mon, are you not hungry? Because you didn't eat that much at dinner tonight." He was trying so hard to figure out what was going on and I loved him so much for it. last time this happened I had to be hospitalised for a night as they pushed fluids into me, it was deemed that I wasn't depressed, or suicidal, or anorexic or anything, because I wasn't. When I wanted to eat I ate, the problem was that wasn't very often, so I was diagnosed as forgetful. Lucky me. Out of everyone who were all freaked out the appropriate amount at the news of my overnight stay, Jon freaked out the most, but that was partly due to the fact that he had come home over to find me asleep on the lounge, except I wasn't waking up, after 10 minutes of trying and finally locating my weak pulse he had rung the ambulance had had me rushed to hospital with malnutrition. That was 2 years ago, the last time I had been numb, and this was the exact same pattern repeating itself all over again.

"I'm just not that hungry Jon." I saw the pain in his eyes and hated myself for it since there was actually nothing I could do about it. It had taken months to get back to eating proper portions of food again, if I ate too much too early into my recovery I would just end up throwing it all back up again. I had been fine on my portions up until maybe a few month ago, then they had slowly started decreasing again. Unfortunately because this was the second round of my changing portions and Jon had been educated on the signs this time, he was on full alert. It wasn't as if I could just go out and eat a pig, if I could I would but I learnt last time that forcing the food down just meant it would make a reappearance quite quickly, until I figured out a way out of my 'funk' I was stuck like this. Last time it was the pain I saw in my family and friends, but this time I felt I was sinking even deeper. It had taken around 9 months for my body to shut down last time. I was only into month 4 of this cycle which meant I had another 5 to endure before I would see the faces and the tears that would cause me to get out of it. This was the one thing that Jon, to all this loving credit, just wasn't enough for. Which only added to my self-hatred. He was the one I could never hurt, no matter what. And I wouldn't.

"How long?" I knew what he was asking. His face held none of it earlier joking. It sucked.

I knew once I told him he would begin the countdown and watch over me even closer than he normally does, I had only just gotten him to finally calm down after last time. He had finally stopped watching me eat every night and ringing me every lunch time so he could hear me eat. And I was about to shatter the world he had finally re-entered and drag him back into mine. "4 months." And just like that the pain was hidden behind shock and hurt. He abruptly pulled us both up into the sitting position. He leant back against my headboard as he tucked my under his arm and used my head and his own personal head rest.

I just locked my eyes on the dreamcatcher in front of me as he wrestled to get his emotions under control. He was actually the one responsible for my vast collection. When I was 10 I had a nightmare that scared me so much it caused me to run into my brother's room and spend the next week sharing his bed. Unfortunately for night 8 he had a party he was sleeping over at so as I made my way to my own terrifying bed I found the most perfect white dreamcatcher hanging above my pillows. He left a note explaining that they would protect me when he couldn't. And just like that another tradition made itself known. Every time I had a nightmare scary enough to make me need to retreat to his room, another dreamcatcher would make an appearance in mine. And every time the fear would go away until a new one could make itself known. They started out as the normal dreams, ones where I was chased by the bogey monster, or thrown into a pit of snakes, but as I got older they would turn darker, most of the times I couldn't even remember what the dreams were, just that I would wake up sweaty, short of breath and with a racing heart. It was just last week he added another to my collection. He never questioned what my dreams were about, he just let me cuddle up to my big brother and fall into a peaceful sleep.

The worst was one night I woke for the first time screaming. It was just before my hospital visit and I was home alone. I knew it was selfish but I rang Jon anyway, I just needed to hear his voice and my terror outranked my guilt at ruining whatever he was doing. He spoke to me for a solid hour before there was a knock at my front door, he encouraged me to open it and sign for the package. It was a huge pink and silver one he had brought online from a store that somehow delivered 24/7. He talked to me until I hung it up and fell into a once again peaceful sleep. My brother just got me in every way possible and I was forever grateful that he was mine.

"Jesus Clare! Why didn't you come to me sooner?" he was trying to hide his hurt but I knew him as well as he knew me. Which meant I knew how he worried so I knew how to hide it. I couldn't stand to see him hurt so I did what I could, and for the first time ever, I lied to my brother.

"I don't know, I didn't really notice it, this sort of thing just creeps up on me." It was partly true, it would just creep up, but I had noticed it from day 1, because that was the day pineapple no longer appealed to me which was ridiculous because it was my third favourite fruit and I was actually becoming scared of the day that watermelon wouldn't either. Sadly, like I said, Jon knows me better than anyone, which means he knows when I'm lying and he was shocked that I had tried to do it to him.

"Don't give me that, did you forget who you're talking to? What was it?"

I just sighed in defeat, no point even trying to hide it he, he knew. "Pineapple." My voice sounded so sad, like a 3 year old who was telling their mummy that they couldn't find their favourite bear. The hidden upside was that it actually caused Jon to chuckle.

"Oh no! Not the pineapple!?" his voice held such outrage I couldn't help but join him and giggle myself. Soon we were both in hysterics. I tried to answer yes, but body wouldn't allow it as I fought for breath over my laughter, our cheeks were wet with our tears. It was actually the best moment ever. I could always count on Jon when I needed him, and even now he was still helping me. After we had finally run out of laughter and our entire bodies were aching did Jon sober up. "Clary, you can't keep this stuff from me. I know I was over protective last time, but I had just come so close to losing you! I promise I won't be that bad again. I just need to you to talk to me." As he said that he had pulled me even closer than last time.

"Jon! That's not why! I promise! It wasn't the checking in's or the way you would watch me eat! Well it was, but not on my end. I basically destroyed you, for those first few months you barely left my side! Which don't get me wrong I loved, but your work and your life suffered, by trying to rescue me you were drowning yourself and I won't be responsible for that again!" I had pulled away so I could look him in the eyes and he would know I was serious. Because I was. I was not going to even try and save myself it if meant I would lose my brother, and based on the narrowing of his eyes in response he could see I was not going to budge on this. Not a single millimetre.

Eventually he sighed and pulled us both down so we were staring at the ceiling together. "Clare, that's not what's going to happen. The only way I could drown is if you're not there. I won't lose you. I won't you're the most important thing to me and I will do everything to protect you. Nothing else matters. Believe it. I won't lose you, I already came close to it once and I won't go through it again. So really, I'm not doing this for you, but for me so deal with it." his voice held so much stubbornness I didn't even need to think about where I got it from, and based on his smirk he didn't either. "So come on, tell me, what's going on?" I knew he wasn't asking in general, or about my books, he was trying to understand something I couldn't myself.

"I don't know, I just feel…empty, which I don't get. I have everything I could possibly need. Nothing is actually wrong I just..i don't know. It's like something is missing and until I find it I won't be whole. But the problem is I don't know what's missing or even where I would begin to start searching for it." that was it. that was the best I could do in trying to sum up with this emptiness inside me felt like.

"Arr, dear sister. It's obvious what you need." His voice wasn't cruel or mocking in the way most brothers would be like when trying to give their siblings a hard time. Instead it held a wisdom beyond his years. I had missed this. Ever since he moved out with his fiancée a few months ago, our nightly chats had to be cut down or over the phone, but I still got my dreamcatchers when needed and he got his updates on my books.

"Oh dear brother, do tell, what is it I'm missing? Please tell me oh wise one." I put as much emphasis into my voice as possible, while his tone made me want to laugh, his words had made me curious, what he possibly know what I was missing when I didn't even know it myself?

"You need the Zing." That was it. That was all he said. The hell was a zing? How does one even lose that? Where would one find a replacement? Was he high? I kept waiting for him to continue but it became obvious he wasn't going to. Instead he was just going to stare at the ceiling. Good to know.

"Oi. What's the zing? Jon?" I must have shaken him out of a memory or something because it took him a second to even realise I had spoken and another two to take in what I said. Then he just sighed and rolled his eyes at me.

"The Zing! Clary come on you know about the Zing!" my theory of his being high was just growing. He wasn't helping his case by bolting upright and pulling me up with an urgency as he tried to search for the comprehension that was definitely not in my eyes. "Dude! You were the one that made me watch Hotel Transylvania! The Zing! The Zing! You know!"

And then it all made sense. I finally understood what my crazy brother was on about. "Jon, that's just a movie, come on, the Zing doesn't really exist." But even as I said it I felt a tiny bit of the emptiness subside with the realisation and hope that maybe that was what I was missing. And if I knew that, I would be able to search for it.

"You can't honestly believe that! Clary! You've read more books than I count and you've talked me through nearly every single one of them, you think over 100 different authors all just made up that magical moment? It had to of come from somewhere, and of course I know it exists, because I've felt it." he was so proud of himself as he added his own experience to his explanation. He actually got me thinking, he was right, every book I'd ever read talked about that moment when they would meet each other and the spark, zing, fireworks, butterflies and everything else would explode inside them. He had a point. It had to come from somewhere. And no one could deny he and Lydia were meant for anyone beside each other. They were each other's perfect compliments. Something I had to admit I was insanely jealous of. "That's what you need baby sister. You need to find your Zing, and don't worry, you will find it. Don't give up."

I was about to reply when we were interrupted by another knocking, this one didn't last nearly as long as Jon's did though. When we asked who we were met with a hesitant reply of "Miley Cyrus?" it was so cute. No matter how many times Jon and I had insisted that it was ok, she was still scared about overstepping her mark and encroaching on our sibling traditions. But like Jon said, they had the Zing, so she was going to be around for a long time and she had the diamond to prove it. She was a part of the family already and I had always wanted a sister. How could we not include her?

Checking the time I realised was it was already 10:30 and Lydia was probably coming to see if Jon was ready to go home. I reluctantly let my brother go so he could get some sleep before work tomorrow. He promised to either drop by tomorrow afternoon for a talk or ring me that night to discuss our 'revelation' further. I trusted him enough to know he wouldn't tell Lydia any more than needed. But I trusted Lydia enough to know she could handle it. She had stuck by him when he was consumed with my last recovery. Other's would have left at the lack of attention for months and resented me for stealing their man, but instead she came over most afternoons to hang with us, just to be there, letting us both know she wasn't going anywhere.

After they left I got into bed and fell asleep quite easily. This time when I woke with a racing heart it wasn't in fear but rather in ecstasy. The man in my dream didn't have a face I knew, or anything else I could distinguish, but I could feel the happiness and just brightness that just filled the emptiness to the very brim. It was then and there I decided that the Zing was real and I was going to find it. No matter what. Even if I went through this cycle 20 more times. I wasn't going to give up on my search.

Sadly when morning came, so did the numbness that I was coming accustomed to. The Zing was pushed into the back of my mind to be nothing more than a memory of what could be. But even if I found the Zing, who would want someone as broken as me?

School brought back the mind numbingly boredom it had held so for so long. The questions weren't hard, the books were already read and the essays were already written. The only distraction was the fact that we were meant to be getting some new students. But even news couldn't rouse me enough to make my watermelon become appealing again.

Fantastic! I had now lost my love for my favourite food. There was no coming back from that, I wasn't going to get to enjoy this until I was at university and that was just a whole other level of depressing. With a sigh I texted Jon letting him know watermelon was off the menu, he was still at work so he sent a text back with a sad face and a promise to call the second I was done for the day.

The afternoon passed in a haze of Dimitri forgiving himself as well as Jon trying to convince me I would get my Zing soon enough. He was so adorable. When he got determined his voice would take on a tone that was both demanding yet humorous as he argued until everyone saw things his way. He offered me comfort and was appropriately distressed at my lack of craving for my favourite food and our conversation ended with a promise to drop by at the end of the week with some strawberries since they were the only fruit I could still tolerate.

I hadn't informed mum of my lack of appetite towards watermelon so I was forced to spend the first half of my lunch staring down my meal, willing myself to take a bite. I was pulled from my thoughts of despair by an apple rolling across my lunch table followed by both a container of pasta and a clump of grapes. Looking up I watched their owner and he scrambled to pick up his scattered food. Finally as he fought the reddening of his cheeks his eyes met mine and I came face to face with the most golden pair of eyes ever.

ZING!

Suddenly watermelon sounded like the most mouth-watering meal one could offer me.

 **So? Love it? Hate it? Kill it with fire?**

 **Let me know! This was just a weird little one shot I wanted to right. The idea came partly from another story I was reading as well as Hotel Transylvania obviously haha. There are a few parts of this story that correlate with me – basically just the description of her room and the amount of books haha.**

 **Later Humans! Mwah**


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